Avenue Lifestyle: First Date - The Art Of Looking Away, Self Sabotage Style

Avenue Lifestyle: First Date Jitters 

PhotoCred: Juan Vargas (Pexels Images)

We all want to fall in love and it's quite exciting, the goosebumps first conversation which leaves you in a state of bliss, daydreaming and suddenly being nice even to Patty whom you usually despise, that's love for you, brightening you up that you find yourself spreading happiness all around. Whatever happened to misery loves company? This new you has a good motivation to be kind because a huge part of you is now loved, making it easier for you to reciprocate towards those around you.

PhotoCred: Unsplash Images - Alexander Mass & Sweet Life.

When we go on a first date there's usually a lot on the table, the looks, pockets, professional and personal priorities that give the hints of dots connecting or a clear picture that some things can't be framed and put on the bedside table. Better off apart. Many try to portray themselves as having it all together and some don't have a sense of what they want long-term still trying to find their feet and a lot of times people who are ready often meet those who aren't or are afraid of fully going in. 

We said there's a lot on the table but way way more under it, it's dark and barely any light. Things that are only accessed if certain conversations are had, these are usually uncomfortable, cues clearing throat, stammering, bathroom excuses, left the stove on and so the story goes. Many run from harmless orange flags thinking they're seeing red, at times our capacity to love is undeveloped or still in development we are picky about what is worth loving or tolerating and we usually have the idea we know how to choose what's best for us only to end up with a bad but good looking choice. Instead of listening we hear the first line and make the wrong conclusions that even after a clarification we're still turned off it could be a what will people say, an insecurity stemming from ourselves because we're people conscious or we love to please and receive approval over everything in our lives. The phone a friend before taking the job. How mature Betty, bet you will have others incharge of your relationship making decisions for you. Yay group project! NOT. MASSIVE SIDE EYE.

PhotoCred: Unsplash Images - Alireza Heidapour

This constant mismatch clouds the dating pool, forget the mud, whose ideas was it to dye these waters? Now everyone is basking in the sun than dip in disaster. A swimming consequence for who? Others negotiate for friends with benefits then one of them develops genuine feelings, a breach of contract and hell breaks loose. Anything can happen, not everyone is trained to keep things on ground level, took the elevator Hun? Oh no time to come back to reality, the first floor with your fresh wounds, telephone a doctor you're not okay (Justin Timberlake anyone?)

The dating world is also filled with unsolicited advice, take it at your own risk, people use their sole experiences to define it for everyone. What happened to many possible outcomes? And the dramatic the events? The more attention it receives; many are painted a bitter picture that says never look forward to dinner. So everybody skips well why don't you rope us in? 

Unrealistic expectations break many people's hearts, some expect a bad boy to have the character to love them. If you're in the wild and are awaiting suburbian bliss, what in the teapot society made you think you'd get ciders for breakfast? We want what isn't for us. You think muscles will build a home or a pretty face will do it for you when you need emotional support as well. A house isn't just a door Ethan! You need walls, windows and decorative details that aren't at all superficial. 

PhotoCred: Unsplash Images - Nikola Jovanovic 

So when we go on a first date we brush off the red flags, even the lack of chemistry because the heart just can't get enough. We fool ourselves, we commit perjury, falsifying evidence, hiding a docket so we can get away with self sabotage. Oh my Sally your salad is a correctional serve, Ceasar? More like cease her! Yes I'm cheesy, cottage cheese to be exact.

Why do we lie to ourselves? Honesty is definitely needed. Most just stick it out because they wanna "smash" and even that isn't satisfying. Resulting in a breakup that turns you both into longtime enemies. Yeah you started a fire, you arsonists! Can't believe you're blaming each other. 

So the next time you really like someone don't just jump into it without a proper and accurate view of how things really are. How many years have you been waiting for that guy who seems interested in other people and quickly gets into a relationship than he can treat you better or that girl who only needs you when she's out of "luck"? Superman? Someone play "I need a hero!" Because that's all you'll ever be yet you allow yourself into thinking one day it'll be your love she will need. Good grief Roger, get it together even though you're not Humpty Dumpty. 

That's why it lasted for a week, a month or the honeymoon phase faded quicker than you can say Barry Allen is the Flash. Two people who like each other no matter the circumstances will fight for each other and make the necessary effort even if you're busy or going through hell but you will love the one you love. No ghosting excuses or half baked apologies and diverting. So get real with yourself. Some people aren't meant for you and that's okay. Not the Parlotones but you'll find your fish okay? 

Firstly Love yourself enough to be honest, do not hesitate to end a relationship if you can tell that you won't marry this person, the whole protecting his/her feelings is a cowardly excuse, stalling won't make things easier. Do not allow yourself to settle for casual sex because it's very pleasurable and you think "no heartbreak just fun" Uhh this will affect you long-term. Finding it hard to be emotionally responsive in a relationship,only active when it's time to makeout. 

Love becomes toxic when the wrong ingredients are on the table. Stop leading people on and mostly never think you're the player that always gets away bragging rights are nothing when you're an unlovable prick that women see as John Tucker. The first date tells it all but we choose to press continue like a game hoping we will somehow win only to lose and end up in a cycle of depression and hating love. Not so nice is it Puddin'? Stop it.

We hope this article was helpful. Relationships aren't tricky, we just need to be attentive instead of making up pictures of a happy couple instead of dealing with the hard truths, the reflections of what things look like. No matter the adjustments what will never fit will be unflattering. Sorry, definitely not sorry.

Thank You for Joining Us.

Until Next Time 

Avenue Lifestyle 

God Bless!